I can't go back even if a try

Cuz the have a love i just can't understand.
Everything seems to me fake and far away
but i just can get awake
What happen to me?
i just can't get  nothing right
They come and go but i never let them in
Cuz when i did love make me bleed
So hard i will never be the same

I try to love someone but i just can't
You should not try to love
Cuz love comes and give you a try
 It can get you up and down
See the whole world
in one pair of hands
It may make you wanna die
But is the reason
We stay alive

It's the 4 letters everybady wants to know how to pronounce but more than that it's the life they want to learn to live, it's just to big for beein simple feeling, to complicated to be something you only need, it's too much true to be wrapped with someone else, is everything we don't know and anything we want. 

I got nothing to hold on 
But myself
So i keep looking for those who learn how to survive 
I keep guessing why the want this so bad
i look through their eyes
and guess what?
They have what once i thought it was mine.

I'm so tired of feeling nothing, so tired to be me
i think i vanish it away
Love songs are getting stuck in to my throat
And the words are holding empty in my chest
Cuz there's is no hope for the ones who can
Show love
I need to get over cheap games
And grow up
But boy iu guess in all this time
i learned how to make love die.